MIRAGE

I miss you my darling, as i always do but today is especially hard because the ocean has been singing to me and the song is that of our life together. I can almost feel you beside me as i write this letter and i can smell the scent of windflowers that always remind me of you. But at this moment these things give me no pleasure. Your visits have been coming less often and i feel as if the greatest part of who i am is slowly slipping away. I am trying though. At night when i am alone i call for you and whenever my ache seems to be the most, you still seem to find a way to return to me. Last night in my dreams i saw you near a beach. The wind was blowing through your hair and your eyes held the fading sunlight.I am struck as i see you leaning against me. You are beautiful, i think as i see you, a vision that i can never find in anyone else. I slowly begin to walk towards you and when you finally turn to me; i notice that others have been watching you as well. “Do you know her?” they ask me in jealous whispers and as you smile at me, i simply answer with the truth. “Better than my own heart.”. I stop when i reach you and take you in my arms. I long for this moment more than any other. It is what i live for, and when you return my embrace, i give myself over to this moment at peace once again. I raise my hand gently and touch your cheek and you tilt your head and close your eyes. My hands are hard and your skin is soft. I wonder for a moment that you’ll pull back bu of course you dont.You never have and it is at times like this that i know what my purpose in life is. I am here to love you. I am here to protect you from anything that might destroy you.I am here because there is no other place to be. But then as always the mist starts to form as we stand close to one another. It is a distant fog that rises from the horizon and  find myself scared as it approaches. It slowly creeps in, enveloping the world around us, fencing us in as if to prevent escape. Like a rolling cloud, it blankets everything,closing, until there is nothing left but the two of us. I feel my throat begin to choke and my eyes swell up with tears because i know it is time for you to go. The look you give me at that moment..haunts me. I feel your sadness and my loneliness and the ache in my heart that had been silent, grows stronger as you release me. And then you spread your arms and step back into the fog. I long to go with you but your only response is to shaker your head because we both knew that is impossible. I watch with breaking heart as you slowly fade away. I find myself straining to remember everything about this moment,everything about me. But soon,always too soon, your image vanishes and the fog rolls back to its faraway place and i am alone on the pier, not caring about what others think as i bow my head and cry and cry and cry!

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